The most vivacious rambuctioness yet seen
on the family screen. A thrilling yet
subtle explosion that will fill
your cup with sunshine
madness! Hold your
horses and don't
ask when...
Yet!
How to thanks-give
Nov 26, 2009
By The Amazing
Dear Diary,
Because today the North Americans celebrate the day of Thanksgiving, I paid homage to the occasion by taking a nap. If I am thankful for anything, dear Diary, it is for naps. Not the short kind which humans so foolishly call "cat naps", but the real cat naps, which are lengthy and languid and most exquisitely enjoyed in impractical places.
Bagheera (of J&M, Chile) gives us a demonstration of an impractical place to nap.
And as my mental legs wandered through naptime's thankful thoughts My mental legs + boots.
I remembered that it is advisable to thank someone 7 times when you have been treated to a special treat. Yes, 7 WHOLE TIMES!! ( As a side note I would like to mention that English-speaking cats have 9 lives, while Spanish-speaking cats have only 7. This is fair because spanish-speakers are more nimble on their feet.)
7 THANK YOUS!!! I immediately (after the nap, of course) executed this 7-layered plan on my neighbor, who has been marvellously generous with his food lately. The plan transpired thusly:
7:00- Rang doorbell, greeted Neighbor with flowers and said "Thank you."
7:15- Rang doorbell, greeted Neighbor with hand-drawn portrait (of him) and said "Thank you."
7:16- Rang doorbell but forgot the poem I wanted to recite. Rats!
7:17- Rang doorbell, placed a boiled egg on the porch, and then hid in the bushes so that it would be a mystery-surprise-snack.
7:30- Still hiding in the bushes.
7:45- Sent Neighbor an e-card with smiley faces.
8:00- Presented Neighbor with an authentic Photoshopped Certificate of Gratitude for his excellent generosity.
8:10- Serenaded Neighbor with local Mariachi band. (My favorite song is "El Mariachi" by "El Mariachi").
9:10- Ran out of ideas and went home.
All in all it was a most successful venture. I know the neighbor was greatful because when I told him I was going home he said, "Thank Heavens!!"
In the buisness of being Amazing, one must master the mind.
For example, the fish who can't get out of bed in the morning are so easy to catch!! All I have to do is make sure that I get my out of my bed first!
What is that quote doing there?
I confess that I have confessed to having difficulties with waking up, but I have TRAINED MY MIND to remember: It's the early cat that catches the fish! The early cat also gets to chase the early bird who's catching the worm (SO FUN!), and gets his pancakes while they're still hot!
One good way to practice will power is to eat only one salted peanut. It is a veritable impossibility. Not even google images can find ONE salty peanut.
PS: The lazy fish was not harmed in the making of this photo. I ate the early bird for breakfast.
Historically it has been proven to be factual that anyone who aspires to be Amazing must also aspire to be brave.
A knight must not complain of his wounds, though his bowels be dropping out.
When Don Quixote famously sang about going "where the brave dare not go" he was referring, of course, to swimming pools, and most especially ones filled with water.
To dare or not to dare, that is the question! But what is my name, dear diary, the Amazing Chicken? NAY! I follow The Quest! And so I stuck my toe in the water!!! And next week I will wet my ankle, and then my knees, and so on and so forth ad infinitum. And this courage granted me a fun day with my Amazing friends, because I am the Amazing Cat and that's how I roll.
ALDONZA Why do you do these things?
DON QUIXOTE What things?
ALDONZA These ridiculous... the things you do!
DON QUIXOTE I hope to add some measure of grace to the world.
In this life, there is no lifesaver like a good laugh. When I go camping and pack my survival kit, I always remember to pack a good sense of humor. With my sense of humor I find I am able to laugh with the mosquitoes that bite me, and at the mud and the rain in my tent, and even when my hot-dog falls on the floor and I have sunburn because I didn't obey and wear sunscreen and a hat!
And I also suspect that a sense of humor will come in handy in the Next Life as well!
This reminds me of an internet joke that I got in the e-mails:
Sincerely,
El Gato
PS: A post script quote Which I wish That that I wrote (But I didn't.)
Above all else: go out with a sense of humor. It is needed armor. Joy in one's heart and some laughter on one's lips is a sign that the person down deep has a pretty good grasp of life. ~Hugh Sidey
If I am ever under the temptation to gripe about the food on my plate, I will remember the Mongolians and other Eurasian tribes who drink fermented horse milk. FERMENTED HORSE MILK!! (Maybe it tastes good???)
Curious Cat is feeling more suspicious than curious.
And while I am a firm believer that I would drink the drink, should it happen to be set before me, I also hereby vow (and in this diary I register this meow) to never be in a bad mewd over my food again.
It is imperative for the speaker to use his/her mind before actually engaging in the act of speech. I use myself as an example:
At times I am tempted to wonder aloud, “WHO STOLE and ROBBED and THIEVED me of MY AMAZING RED SOCKS???” But then I remember that I actually stashed them in my super secret hiding place and that’s why I can’t find them. (Super-agents always have secret hiding places to hide super secret things.) This happens sometimes with my favorite pencil, and my cookies too.
Also, you can not give an answer to a riddle before you hear it. (Proverbs 18:13) Well, you can if you are able to read minds with your parapsychological skills. Ha ha!! *wink wink*
